Identify your Friends…

There are three basic types of friends you will come across in life: Confidants, Constituents, and Comrades.


These are friends who are there for you no matter what. They will love you unconditionally, whether you’re up or down, right or wrong – they are there. They are in for the long haul. If you get in trouble, they’ll get in trouble with you or they’ll come see you in the jail house. They’ll even come rescue you out of a crack house! These are confidants, you can open up and share ANYTHING with them.

The problem with most people is that no one in their circle can feed them, mentally or physically, so they are forever feeding people who can’t/won’t feed them! After years of giving and feeding them, you will inevitably become drained. You have to have somebody that can feed you sometimes, so you can feed somebody else.

That’s where the confidant comes in. They are for you and they are with you. They are intimately intertwined in your life. They are there to make sure you reach your destiny. They will celebrate your achievements, they will confront you when you’re wrong, and they will keep your secrets…..BECAUSE THEY ARE CONFIDANTS. If you have had 2 or 3 of them in your life you are BLESSED!


These people are not really into you but they are into what you are for. They are for what you are for – they are your constituents. As long as you are what they are for, they will walk with you and work with you. But, never think they are for YOU. They are for what you are FOR and sometimes what you have to offer. You have to know this because if they meet someone else that will further their agenda….. they will leave you and hook up with them because they were NEVER for YOU!!!! They were just FOR what you are FOR. You have to be careful, especially if you’re broken, because you can mistake a CONSTITUENT for a CONFIDANT.


These people are not for you, nor are they for what you are for.. It’s just that they are against what you are against. They will team up to fight with you to help fight a bigger enemy. But don’t get it twisted, they are only with you until its over. These people are like scaffolding. They come into your life for a purpose and when the purpose is complete the scaffolding is removed. But don’t be upset when they are removed because the building always remains there.

EXPECT the constituents and the comrades to leave you and desert you after a while. Don’t be upset when they don’t react to your dream the way you expected them to because they were NEVER really with you in the first place. BE CAREFUL who you tell your dreams to, because if you tell your dreams to your constituents they will desert you and try to fulfill the dream without you. If you tell it to your comrades, they wont support it because they were never for what you were for anyways.

Here’s how you can identify people who are really for you: If they are really for you, they will weep with you when you weep, and they will rejoice when you rejoice. If you walk into a room with good news STOP BEING HAPPY FOR A MINUTE and watch their reaction. If they are not happy for you, SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND WALK OUT OF THAT ROOM, because if they were really for you they would be happy when you share your good news.


Don’t worry about the people he took. Be happy about the people he sent.


20 thoughts on “Identify your Friends…”

  1. Sadly the only problem with those friends are some will wear sheeps clothing for YEARS. Be careful who u give ur energy too ladies!
    Great read cousin 😘


  2. Damn. That was deep and had great meaning. But it saddens me. I don’t have any confidants. I once had one. Maybe she still is. But we don’t talk much any more unless I reach out to her. She was my bff since child hood. But once I got serious with my boyfriend (now husband) she sorta just left. I guess obviously she was a constituant because she wasn’t for what I was for. I knew a long time ago we weren’t really bffs any more. But this puts it into more of a reality.


  3. I feel like the only confidant I have is the man I married. He has been here for everything I have ever done and every time I (we) had nothing. He didn’t care that another girl had more to offer. Bigger dreams. Better body. Non of that mattered. Even as teens when we were just dating. and he would probably say the same. When he hit his lowest point of no job. High school drop out. Everyone left. They all thought he had no more to offer him. But I stayed by him. I help build him back up. We built each other.


  4. I’ve read it a couple times now. And the more I think, I wonder how many of my “friends” were just comrades. I’m gonna take a wild guess and say more than half. And some don’t ever talk to me until I post something controversial on Facebook. We have a 5 min conversation…. and that’s it. Poof. Gone. Until the next. This hits home. Makes me realize I never really had many close friends.


  5. Ya know what’s sad. Even in high school I didn’t have those friends. I actually ended up losing all my friends. And my senior year I sat with NO ONE. 😞 High school sucked. Only thing that came out of it was my confidant. My husband.


  6. Well good you wrote this because I know for sure I have no friends but other than that I like how you identified 3 types of friends.


  7. I hope everyday my daughter surrounds herself with good people. And I hope she grows up to be a good person and not a life sucker. I don’t want her to feel as sad as I did especially in her teen years. I pray to god she has a much brighter teen years.


  8. Out of all my “friends” I have 1 confidant the others are constituent … I’m glad I know the difference between the 2.


  9. Good friends are hard to come by. I lost a “best” friend. No she didn’t die she just changed and doesn’t see it.


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